virgin pages

Mouthwash ‘Kate Nash’

So I’m watching this television show, a difference from my normal SATC addiction, but it still comes back around to slap me in the face. Should I take the easy way out, or should I do what I really want to? Can I do both?

Can I raise an eventual family and hold a full time job, and write?

Should I ditch everything for my passion?

I know these rambling pieces are mediocre and juvenile, flawed in every way and possibly quite boring, but I remember a time when I didn’t want to give up and my reader was in tears, or gave me a standing ovation at the end of the chapter. I miss it, and I wonder what judgement everyone else will cast. Will it still be total shit like it is to me, or noteworthy?

I’m back in Kensington and Chelsea and I’m reading the last paragraph and I see someone shoulder through the crowd. He looks like a familiar face, perhaps one I have seen in the mirror or in my own brother’s face. In fact, he is my Father. His eyes well up, and he starts the crowd off with his own applause. I know immediately who he is and nothing else matters, though I did gain more material from the time I knew him. It’s been almost ten years.