lost something?

John Mayer ‘Slow Dancing In A Burning Room’

Why is it we’re always so negative? How amusing you must think, coming from the queen of it, but trust me, I have no problem questioning myself along with the rest of you.

Really though, what is it that makes us cling to the rough times, the collection of bad memories, the un-sunny side? What got me thinking of it was a sign my sister hung on the front door. I came home from work tonight tired and irritable, met with the rustic spring scene and painted letters which read ‘Welcome, enter with a happy heart’. I sighed and shook my head, adding with a wry smile how I’d have to sleep on the porch. She laughed but I’m sure if pressed would have retorted that I’d just have to move out.

Thoughts and replays of conversations and nights reveal to me the overwhelming fact (opinion, but cut me some slack, it’s optimistic) that Auto is here. Disconnected he may be, but malicious he’s not. The softening expression that turns in my direction, the words, the laughter, and the appropriate silence would give even the worst degree of speculation a flawed basis.

Is it we’re all jaded, even this young? How did it happen–the bumps and bruises of adolescence, the difficulties of life alone, the absence of, and baggage attached to the experiences of mature love? Or are we just tired?…of it all?